Frust sikit

Semalam aku dapat result one of my exam. Bukan yang masa aku buat karipap tu. Paper yang sebelum ni. Aku memang risau pasal paper ni pasal aku rasa I did really bad for this paper. Hmmm memang betul. I didn't do well on the paper. Masa aku dapat paper tu sebenarnya aku dah bersyukur that it was not worse. Tapi bila tengok ramai yang score, aku rasa sangat-sangat sedih. Masa dekat kelas, aku cool lagi, tapi aku dah sms Ed masa tu. 

Masuk dalam kereta aku dok mikir pasal my result tu. I can only blame myself for being too relax. Aku hanya study siang masa hari exam tu. Aku tak sempat habis study pon rasanya. Ada satu soalan tu, lecturer dah bagi tahu akan keluar exam, aku dah baca tapi tak faham sangat tai aku tak make an effort to really understand it. Tu pon nasib baik aku dan kawan sempat pergi jumpa lecturer dan review few things. Kalau tak memang lagi teruk result aku. 

Hmmmm, i think I got complacent. For the past few years, I have always managed to score in exams. Even exams which has very low passing rate pon aku lepas. Sometimes I do wonder, how i did it. Even last sem, marks for mid term, assignments memang semua sangat-sangat tinggi. Among the highest kot. Maybe sebab tu, aku tak study sangat. Unconsciously, I think that I can get by even without studying much. How wrong I was.

I was never that smart girl who does not have to do much but still scores in exam. Aku memang kena study. I realized semua paper-paper yang lepas sebelum ni, memang aku study. Memang aku pulun. So aku takleh perasan yang aku boleh score without studying much. Memang salah aku. Mungkin juga Allah nak tegur aku yang mulai merasa a bit cocky. This result is really humbling. Maybe aku kurang bersyukur, kurang berdoa. Yelah semua yang aku dapat selama ni, semuanya dari Allah. Dan aku rasa, sebenarnya it's probably what I need to strive harder for my assignments, project and finals. 

Semoga aku tak patah hati.