10 weeks checkup

Assalamualaikum wbh kawan-kawan,

Sorrylah lambat sikit update pasal checkup tu. Weekend tu banyak keluar jugak. Pastu cuti Labor Day tu keluar jugak beli barang tah haper-haper. Keluar sekejap jek dalam 2 jam. Terbaring sampai petang lepas tu penat. Semenjak banyak kena bedrest ni aku memang kurang stamina sikit. Hmmmm. 

Anyways, berbalik kepada my checkup Last Friday. Its my 10th week checkup. Aku memanjang nervous kalau checkup ni. Bila aku cakap dekat Ed aku takut, dia pon kata, takut jugak. Hehe. Selalunya dia tenang gila kan. But semenjak pregnant ni dia pon ada sesdikit anxiety jugak. 

Appointment aku petang lepas Jumaat. As always Ed la bawakkan. Actually aku ada tulis 2-3 entry lepas aku confirm pregnant at 4 weeks tu. Tapi sebab masa tu tak conclusive lagi, maka aku peram dulu. Lepas tu bila dah confirm, aku rasa sedih pulak bila baca balik. So sebab aku taknak ada reminder sedih-sedih dekat blog ni, aku tak jadikla publish. Instead aku bagi in point form jek what happened. Actuallynya aku:

• Malas nak cerita that during my first ultrasound, the sonographer showed us two sack with two yolks which means at that point of time I was carrying twins.

• Malas jugak nak cerita how me and Ed was grinning from ear to ear when we knew we are pregnant with twins

• Malas nak cerita jugak how during week 6 I was bleeding again.  And this time is with red blood and boleh tahan banyak. Panik, nangis sakan, we rushed to the hospital and was given a jab. Scanned and saw the babies are ok. Twin A already has a heart beat masa tu. Ya Allah, macam tak percaya. Whilst, doc said twin B will have it’s own heartbeat in a day or two

• Lagi malas nak citer that bila sampai rumah, aku dok tengok jek gambar ultrasound tu. Bila tunjuk dekat Ed dia tengok gitu-gitu jek. But when he thought I wasn’t looking, he was staring at the ultrasound pic with a smile. Hahaha. 

At 7 weeks kami pergi scan sekali lagi dan the sonographer kata Twin B macam stopped growing. Twin A saiznya 7 week ++ whilst Twin B 6 weeks ++. Bila keluar dari scan tu aku dah nak nangis. Kita loose 1 twin ke Com? aku tanya Ed, Ed cakap, kita tatau lagi. Tunggu Dr cakap apa. Bila masuk dalam bilik Dr, he confirmed that we are down to 1 baby. Bila Dr Wong nampak aku dah berair mata masa tu. He said 

Dr.Wong : Look, maybe baby ni tak sihat sangat, sebab tu he stopped growing. The other looks very healthy with good heart beat and good size. That’s why bila buat ET kami selalu masukkan 3 embryos, now you loose 2 but you have 1 good healthy one.

Memang aku nangis bila masuk kereta. Aku sangat excited when I know that I am carrying twins. Tapi aku tak cerita kat ramai orang sebab aku tau risiko having twins, apatah lagi if conceived thru IVF. 

Aku : Baby kita sorang dah takde, com.

Ed : Dia tak sihat kot com. Tak konklusif lagi kot. We can still see the sac.

Aku : Doc kata dah takde.

Ed : Baby, baby hold on ok. Baby jaga adik tu. Sampaila ketentuan dia sampai. (sambil gosok-gosok perut aku.)

Aku : Allah tau apa yang baik untuk kita kan. Maybe badan na pon tak kuat nak carry twins kot.

Ed : Betul, Allah lagi tau apa yang terbaik utk kita.

  

Bila balik rumah, aku delete semua bookmark aku pasal twin pregnancy dan sebagainya. Tapi masa aku baca2 tu ada pulak aku terbaca pasal kadang-kadang one of the twin tu lambat sikit nampak heartbeat. Baru 7 weeks kan. So masa tu aku still menyimpan harapan that Twin B will make it. 

Last Friday which is at 10 weeks checkup, its confirmed. I lost 1 baby. Twin B memang dah shrink masa tu. Boleh baca pasal the Vanishing Twin Syndrom, untuk faham what happened. Aku dah memang prepared. So no more tears this time. Lagipun I don't wanna loose sight. Kami buat IVF sebab nak conceive. Tak pernah terpikir nak dapat twins. Kalau dapat memang bonus sangat kan. Tapi pregnant ni pun dah syukur sangat-sangat ye tak. 

Okay, on to the good news. Baby is doing great. With 177 heartbeat. Lajunya jantung baby! hehehe Ed sengih-sengih jek masa tu. Lepas tu aku tanya, tu tangan dengan kaki dia ke? Yes, the sonographer said. Hihihi, sukanya. Comella tangan baby. Ed terus makin semangat menengok skrin bila nampak kaki dan tangan baby. Yey! Suka-suka. 

Lepas tu gi jumpa Dr.Wong. Tanya soalan-soalan sikit. Dan dia akan stopkan Cyclogest pessaries, hormon progestron tu. Mula-mula happy jugak sebab tak yah pakai ubat tu kan. Tapi lepas tu risau pulak jadinya sebab  progestron tu diguna to support the pregnancy kan. Yelah bukan pregnant natural kan, so takut body tak produce sufficient hormon to support the pregnancy. I just have to trust that the Dr knows what he is doing dan serahkan semuanya pada Allah. Yakinlah cekna, Allah akan lindung the baby. Selama ni pon Allah yang lindung ye tak. Bukannya ubat-ubat tu semua kan. So my checkup is in 3 weeks, eh 2 weeks je kot. Esok aku dah masuk 11 weeks pregnant. Ya Allah lindungilah kami Ya Allah. Doakan semuanya selamat ye kawan-kawan.