Dari tadi aku dok buka Blogger. Trying to write. Bila dah buka new post, idea tu hilang. Blank. Tak tau macamana nak mula. Tak pandai nak mengarang ayat-ayat cantik dan indah. Memang tak pandai.
Aku nak tulis entry untuk Mama. Sempena Hari Ibu. Tapi payah. Apa lagi kalau nak tulis ayat-ayat puitis. Pasal relationship kami bukan macam tu. Kami memang rock. Dulu aku rasa mama aku jenis tak ekspresif. Lagi-lagi masa kecik sampai remaja. Tipikal mak-mak melayu agaknya. Takdenya nak peluk kami or cakap sayang pada kami masa tu. Masa tu cakap apa yang perlu je. Mama dan baba sibuk kerja while i was growing up. Hence, the gap. So apa-apa hal memang tak de cerita sangat pada mama. Fasa tu lebih rapat dengan kawan. Tapi mak kan mestila sayang anak. Cuma memang style dia la tak reti nak tunjuk.
I grew close dengan mama masa di uni. Masa tu aku antara few students yang bawak kereta. Kancil aje pon. Mama aku punyalah risau aku drive. Tiap kali cuti semester, she will take a flight from Kuantan ke Subang then dari Subang ke Kepala Batas. I will fetch her from Kepala Batas and she will drive us to KL. Di KL we will sometimes be met by Baba dan adek. Stayed there a night or two then kami balik ke Kuantan. Begitulah setiap kali cuti sem sampai aku habis matrix. For the trip back to KL aku akan belikan kaset-kaset kat pasar malam supaya we can sing our hearts out sampai KL. Radio masa tu tak jelas sangat dan ada channel apa je pon.
Adek cakap kalau aku dekat U kadang-kadang mama akan masuk bilik aku just stand there quitely tak cakap apa-apa. Tu lah cara dia miss aku. She never told me, of course. Tapi kalau aku balik, mesti mama akan masak makanan favorite aku sepanjang minggu tu. Baba pon akan keluar carik seafood yang sedap-sedao as well as buah-buah yangs sedap bila aku balik. I saw the same reaction masa adek aku fly pegi UK. Lepas adek salam dan masuk kat boarding hall. Mama jalan sorang-sorang dalam airport tu. She was not crying, though. But she didnt say much, just layan perasaan dia kejap. Its just her way of dealing with sadness to be parted with her youngest i guessed. We let her be. Later dia masuk kereta, dah macam biasa balik, takde nak muka sentap ke haper ke hahaha such a strong lady she is.
Banyak sangat aku nak cerita kalau pasal mama ni. But let me fast forward to the present day, panjang sangat nanti. Kalau any of us 3 siblings, yang ada exam, interviews, sales pitch ke haper ke, she will ask us pukul berapa event tersebut and she will on the prayer mat buat solat hajat followed by bacaan yassin. Masa aku buat treatment IVF dulu macam tulah. Every step every milestone dalam treatment tu, you can bet where she was at the time. No, not beside me. Tapi atas sejadah mendoakan aku. Kalau any of us tak sihat, atau cucu-cucunya tak sihat, yeah you guessed it, she will be on the prayer mat, solat hajat, baca yassin, dan buat air yassin. Esoknya if her schedule permits, she will come and visit us bawak air zamzam dan air yassin. Apa lagi as anak yang aku nak? Selain doa ibu? Ya Allah, syukurnya aku masih ada doa ibu.
Semenjak dia accident dan patah tangan dan kaki di beberapa bahagian, mama dah tak memandu. But she and baba hired a driver so that they are mobile. Mama jenis tak kisah dan berkira langsung to come down to KL or turun Kuantan and visit us the children (she lives in Jengka now by the way) kalau kami tak sempat balik.
Yang ni kelakar, mama ni selalu cakap takpe tak payah gifts. But she actually adore gifts hahaha. Kalau dapat hadiah, buat-buat muka tak excited padahal suka sangat. Kahkahkah. Lagi satu best kalau pergi shopping dengan mama. Tak ada orang nak larang aku shopping. Lagi dia galakkan aku lagi adala. " Beli jelah kakok. Bila lagi nak datang sini. Jauh nak datang. Pastu tengah sale ni. Beli jek. Tak cukup duit mama tambah " macamlah jauh sangat. Padahal Sogo jek. Hahahah. Pastu mama kalau beli baju habis semua anak, menantu, cucu semua dapat. Jangan cakap baju, handphone pon sama ok. Phone aku dan phone Ed was bought by my mama. Aku rasa both my brothers pon sama. Jangan tatau, mama aku gila gadget jugak. And normally she buys the phones way below market price. Tech savvy ok mama aku. Walaupun kekadang tu tah haper-haper dia sebut nama gadget tu. Haaa that one I have to save for another post. Hahaha.
On my own hijab label Ms.Husna Hijab, memula mama macam sceptical jugak. Mama cakap dia tak rasa lama aku akan buat bisnes ni. Dia cakap sure aku boring. But I think, i have proved her wrong. Expanding lagi ada. Albeit slowly. Boleh klik banner kat sebelah kanan to browse my own label at Zalora. Mama tak pernah invest dr segi duit untuk bisnes aku. Tp dia support me in terms of time, and feedbacks. Macamana tu? Dia suruh driver dia bawakkan kami beli kain, bali manik atau teman aku hantar kain ke kilang. Dia komen kalau design aki buat tu nampak darat atau tak cantik. Sometimes she offerred to pickup the orders dekat kilang sebab aku tak sempat nak ambik and she was on the way to KL.
I call her almost everyday. And now that Allah has given me the chance to become a mother, lagi aku appreciate dan sayang mama. Aku akan cakap je kat dia, bila nak hang up the phone, ok ma thank you so much. Love u ma. Or sayang mama. Jangan minum teh tarik dah malam ni. Doesn't matter that she always jawab OK saja. Sebab aku tau dia sayang sangat kami and would do anything for us. Look at what she did for me in all aspects in my life.
Thank you mama for every single thing that you did for me. Tak akan mampu kakok balas. Ya Allah lindungilah mama, berilah kesihatan yang baik padanya and please surround her with good people. Please take good care of her ya Allah, I still need her. Will always need her.
Sayang mama ketat-ketat.
