23 Disember 2020 : 1st Antenatal Checkup

Semenjak dapat feedback daripada Dr Wong from last visit. Aku sangat-sangat anxious. Risau sangat-sangat. Aku memang follow betul-betul jadual makan ubat, insert ubat dan jab. Masa pregnancy kedua tahun 2015 dulu, aku rasa kami rilex sangat dan over confident. Aku kejer cam biasa once dapat confirmation dah pregnant, dan ada masa-masanya terbabas waktu untuk pakai ubat dan jab, which is a big no-no utk pregnancy thru IVF ni. So this time around, aku memang tak take things for granted. Actually aku tulis tau pasal pregnance 2nd tu. tapi aku delete most of it, when we lost he baby at 9 weeks. 

Memang banyak-banyak2kan berdoa je kami. Aku hari-hari dok menggelisah kerisauan. Aku dah mula tak leh makan pedas dan rasa nak heartburn start last week lagi. Tekak aku memang tak leh makan pedas, kemabang semacam. Kepala gatal giler, jerawat dkt muka dan badan dah mula ada, and my breast is really sore, cam kena pukul je. Ada hari2 rasa cramping sikit. tapi takde spotting lagi, unlike my 2 previous pregnancy. 

Hari ni ada checkup dekat Sunfert. At 2.45 off we went to Bangsar South. Walaupun org ckp jauh la and so on. From our house, the medical centre is so accessible, terus masuk mex dan NPE pastu sampai. Tak sempat masuk jem. Aku masa ni memang dah tak leh bercakap, tak leh senyum dah masa ni. Gi toilet entah berapa kali. Ed buat lawak pon tak layan dah. My heart was pumping soo hard. risaunya Ya Allah, berilah kesihatan yg baik pada anak kami. 

Then my turn came and the nurse asked me to pee first. I did that and dah get ready for the checkup. Doctor Wong scan, our eyes on the screen and I can see the circle in the screen. 

DW : oh, apa orang melayu cakap, Alhamdulillah!

Aku : Alhamdulillah. (tears in my eyes)

DW : Looking Good. dah nampak thru scan. ada sack with yolk, and the size pon ok. The baby has catched up. Dia slower starter but very good now. This is terrific. 

Aku : Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. 

Then he talked to us both after the examination

DW : Congratulations, you are pregnant. I am very happy for you. I pon nak update my team, about this. This is why we have to go all the way, and never give up. Absolutely terrific. 

Us : Thank you doc. So baby dah semakin sihat? Dah reach its milestone?

DW : Yup. your HCG reading was low last time. thats why saya tak mahu you proceed with another blood test. This time around should be able to see the sac and yolk thru the scan. And it did. Very good. So continue what you are doing right now, we continue all the support. And i'll see you on 4th January. 

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Terima kasih ya Allah, atas rezekimu.  Lepas tu keluar amek meds semua. And i finally can smile and talk. Syukur ya Allah. Terima kasih pada kawan-kawan yang mendoakan.  As always tak ramai yang tahu, di peringkat awal-awal ni. But pada yang tahu, thanks for the dua. I really appreciate it, and we really need it. Masih awal lagi ni, dan masih panjang perjalanan ni, but I will be thankful for every milestone Allah has bestowed me.  Thank you Allah. 

15 Dec 2020 - 2nd Beta HcG Test

Assalamualaikum wbh, 

Hari ni 2nd Beta HCG test which is 2nd pregnancy test. I did the first test last week on 11th Dec. Result was Positive. I am technically pregnant. However doc is a bit concerned that the reading was a bit on the low side. So she scheduled another test 4 days later which is today. During the 4 days i continued with all the meds and jabs. So today is the day. 

Pagi2  lagi dah gerak dari rumah, sebab kena sampai di Sunfert pada pukul 8. Alhamdulillah arrived at 8.02 am. Amek blood sample and have to wait for 2 hours for the result. Yg bosan sikit, the only kedai makan yg bukak is Starbucks, so terpaksa lah lepak dan makan sini, to kill 2 hours.  pukul 10.45 baru jumpa doc for the result.. Ya Allah semoga Allah kabulkan permintaan kami utk seorang lagi zuriat soleh. 

Farhan hari2 akan datang bari salam dekat adik dia. 

Assalamualaikum adik. 

Adik dok elok2 dalam tu ye, pegang mama kuat2. 

Nanti kita main sama2 tau. 

Then he bacakan fatihah utk adik dia. Allahu, syahdu sangat. Memang nak sangat adik si Farhan ni. Hari2 ada dialog dan senario dia dan adik, gitu gini. Memang tersentuh hati kalau tgk gaya dia. Kalau aku dan ed soh gi main dkt bilik dia, dia akan jawab. An pon nak duduk dekat adik. Biarla an baring sini. Alolo, oklah..oklah..

Aku memang anxious. every day akan anxious sangat. No matter how many times you lalui treatment ni, memang akan berdebar sangat. Ya Allah kabulkanlah doa kami, kuatkanlah janin ini, semoga menjadi anak soleh/solehah.

Kali ni checkup dengan Dr Wong. Bila masuk muka dia serius je, aduyai risaunya. 

DW : Ok kalau tengok the result memang reading ni you are pregnant. Kalau u buat pregnancy test dkt luar pon you akan dpt result pregnant. Cuma bacaan HcG ni rendah.  Here's the reading is 330. you should be nearing 1000 already by now. 

Aku terdiam. Ed pon sama. 

DW : The last time masa u miscarry was it like this?

Aku : Reading masa awal2 was OK, cuma then it stopped growing

DW : Ok, lets continue with the meds and support. There are cases where, the baby will catchup and grow as normal. I'll see you in a week. We don't need to do a blood test again. If its good then we can see the baby through the scan. 

Aku dah tak tahan nak nangis masa tu. Went outside and duduk kat luar. Aku dah start crying masa tu. Luckily we were all wearing face mask, so tak nampak la sangat tgh nangis, if not sure nampak hidung dan muka merah sgt tu. 

Ya Allah, I was devastated masa tu. Ed cakap. Com you are pregnant. the reading did double every 48 hours, cuma tak cukup tinggi je. Kita doa dan doa dan doa ok. 

Memang onwards tu, kami berdoa tak putus. Aku tgk Ed baca Yasin hari-hari. some days aku baca dengan dia. Most days aku baca siangnya while he is at work. Ya Allah kurniakanlah kami seorang lagi anak yang soleh dan sihat. Sihatkanlah anak dalam kandungan ini Ya Allah. Semoga kami dapat lihat dia next checkup nanti. Amin Ya Robb. 

Day 9 : Post Embryo Transfer

Pagi tadi Ed bawak aku gi amek jab dekat klinik dekat dengan rumah.  Setakat dalam the 2week-wait ni, ni kali kedua aku kena amek jab hormon. Hari2 akan ada ubat insert dan ubat utk dimakan. Kali ni aku buat reminder dan alarm di phone supaya aku tak lambat makan ubat. Memang disiplin giler kali ni. For your info ni kali ke 3 aku buat embryo Transfer. Pertama masa Farhan tahun 2012 masuk 3 embryo. Pregnant twins pada mulanya. Kedua masa tahun 2015, masuk 2 embryo, berjaya pregnant tapi lost it at 9 weeks. Dan kali ni 2020 1 embryo dan semoga berjaya pregnant jugak. 

Lepas embryo transfer baru ni, keesokannya embryologist called and informed me that the last embryo didnt make it to the blastocyst stage. embryo tu takmo matang. so they informed me that they cannot freeze it. no point pon dan they will discard it. I was crushed. actually mixed feeling sebenarnya.

1. Kalau it made it - kena bayar RM1600 to freeze it, and RM1200  annual maintenance. Perit sikit sebab dah spend belas ribu so far. Pastu terpikir err kalau dah simpan maksudnya nak kena transfer again ke, umur dah berapa ni. Neves pulak aku.

2. If it doesnt make it - then this is the last chance. This is it. Adus pressure pulak. 

So now kami dah dapat tahu, that from the frozen cycle. This is the last embryo. Aku mc for 2 weeks. tapi kali ni x se relax masa farhan dulu where aku bebetul boleh bed rest dan baca novel je. This time susah sikit nak rehat camtu. Sebab kali ni  dah ada anak sorang, where dia ada kelas lagi, nak urus makan minum dia etc. Keduanya kali ni mama dah stay dengan aku, dan dia masih lagi recovering dari surgery patah tangan dia tu. So dia tak leh masak2 sangat. So aku masak ler jugak. Pastu aku dah pindah rumah baru where servis food panda takde dkt sini. Adala servis Grab but u knowla bapok mahal Grab ni. !Sekali sekala ok. Meriah juga rumah kami, ramai yg datang, alhamdulillah. Mak mertua pon datang ni dah seminggu dok sini. Semoga ramai2  mendoakan kami dapat baby.

Oh lupa nak cakap, esok is the pregnancy test. Ya Allah berdebarnya Ya Allah. saspen sangat. Setakat 9 days ni, aku mmg cramping sangat2 sejak day 3. Tak leh makan lambat rasa cam heartburn. Breast are very sore. Muka sembab dan gerutu sikit haha. Takde spotting macam masa Farhan dulu, oemji saspennya. Tolong doakan ye. 

Frozen Embryo Transfer Day

Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET)

Salam, bertahun dah tak update blog. A lot has happened since. Yg life changing to the whole world is Covid 19, PKP 1.0 dan PKP 2.0 . Aku also dah bekerja di office semula, since 2017. Sold my business right before PKP, alhamdulillah for that. Since dalam PKP again, we decided that its a good time to do an FET sebab memang work from home kan. Tak yah renyah-renyah masuk office dan apply cuti or MC. 

 2 Dec 2020, aku ke Sunfert utk buat proses Frozen Embryo transfer. my last two embryos dah diunfreeze 2 hari lepas. Kali ni, ada penggunaan teknologi baru, where the embryos are cultured to blastocyst stage. Aku ada balance 2 lagi embryos. Advantage of blastocyst stage are as below :

Masa checkup pada 25 Nov hari tu, Doc cakap, dinding rahim tidaklah perfect, tp boleh proceed ke next stage. Selepas consultation dengan Doc, disebabkan faktor umur serta aku ada incompetant servix, dia tak galakkan masukkan 2 embrio. Dia nak elakkan daripada pregnant twins. dan dia hanya akan pilih embrio yg sampai stage blastocyst. Kalau dua2 berjaya, dia akan freezekan semula lagi 1.

Masa sampai pada hari transfer tu, kami duduk for consultation with the head of embryologist. Menurut dia. 1 dari embryo berjaya sampai ke blastocyst stage. 1 lagi belum sampai ke stage tu, dan they will observe till tomorrow. Kalau sampai to the stage, they will inform and freeze it. Kalau tak sampai ke stage tu, the embryo deemed tak fit dan will be discarded.  but for today, ada 1 yg healthy for the transfer. 

Macam dulu2 hari ET, tak boleh pakai sabun, pakai syampu, deodaran, perfume, lotion or makeup. Lepas consultation, dah masuk ke ward utk prep. Dah tukar baju, scan dulu, whether dah full bladder atau tak. Nurse cakap belum full. So dia mintak minum 2 cup of water. Nak buat transfer kena full bladder. br scan boleh nampak kat mana nak place the embryo. 2 kali jugak scan tak cukup penuh, but the second time tu nurse tu mintak aku jalan je dlm my ward jgn baring dan jgn minum extra. So aku jalan la keliling katil dlm 15 minutes sampai naik dizzy.  After that dah masuk OT. I forgot how painful it was, aduyai memang tersentak2 kaki tahan sakit. But maybe the technology is better and the doc and the team is more experienced, everything completed in 15 minutes gitu. 

After that I was wheeled out, dan baring 30 minutes dgn katil ditilt sikit supaya kaki aku lebih tinggi dr kepala. Alhamdulillah procedure berjalan lancar. dan kami pon balik ke rumah. Dekat rumah, geram je tengok barang tak habis kemas, sebab baru sangat pindah rumah a few days ago, tapi kena pejam mata jelah for the next few weeks, to ensure the safety of this baby. Farhan excitednya. Hari-hari sembang dengan my tummy. Hari-hari akan fikirkan aktiviti dengan adik dia, dan senario-senario atau what adik dia akan buat or cakap. Syahdu kadang tu. nak sangat adik. Ya Allah semoga Allah kurniakan kami seorang lagi cahaya mata. Kabulkanlah permintaan kami dan Farhan. Doakan ye kawan-kawan.